Matt 9:9 And as Jesus passed forth from thence, he saw a man, named Matthew, sitting at the receipt of custom: and he saith unto him, Follow me. And he arose, and followed him.
Over the past couple of weeks I have been slowly reading from the Book of Matthew and this past week I happen to come upon this event, where Jesus calls Matthew to follow Him. I have read this many times and it is easy to simply gloss over the verse and move on in the chapter. However as I read it this time God began to open my heart to things I had never contemplated before and show me aspects of this event that never really crossed my mind and today I would like to share with you all that God has shown me in these passages.
So we see in this passage that Jesus has just come from the incident where He healed the many with palsy, which we could write much about as well. As Jesus was leaving from that place He came across Matthew sitting at the receipt of customs. It seems like a rather straight forward event, place and action but as I prayed and dwelled on it God began to stir my heart to look more closely at what was really going on and began to line up this event with the context of what we see happen as soon as Jesus calls Matthew.
Praying on this God began to show me more about who Matthew was, what he was doing, and who he represents. See Matthew was Jewish by descent, however here he was working to collect money in the form of taxes for the occupying Roman Government. That is where Jesus comes upon him, sitting at the place where he would be collecting money from his fellow brethren to give it to the government that was essentially their enemy.
I can only imagine how incredibly hated Matthew was, not only by his own people, but by even the Romans who looked down upon the Jews. Here we see a man in the crossfire of two worlds who is bearing the brunt of hatred from both of them. And I put myself in his shoes, how do you think Matthew felt? He had to have had an internal struggle, and I believe he had to have allowed that struggle to cause him to behave in unseemly ways and manners.
It is a known fact of the Ancient World that tax collectors were notoriously uncouth people. They very often over taxed people and then stole the money for themselves, defrauding both the general population and the government they represented. Many times they blackmailed and traded favors for tax breaks, all of which caused the hatred of everyone upon them. While I can not be positive of anything directly I have very little doubt that Matthew followed in these same exact pathways.
So we have a man that was hated by his own countrymen for working for the enemy, a man who was hated by the people he worked for because he was a Jew, a man who more than likely was participating in the same activities that publicans or tax collectors were known to do and I can't help but to think and wonder how Matthew's life was internally. What could he be feeling to be in that dynamic, however I don't think that what he felt is something that is too remote for me to understand and I believe if you are honest, what you have felt at some point and can understand. I have felt as though I have been hated by the World, I have felt that my own fellow citizens, even my own family doesn't like me.
I also know what that feeling can lead me to do, react and behave and most of the time when engulfed in these feelings of being rejected and despised it has caused me to act out in negative behaviors, actions that cause me to hurt others and myself in some manner. I wonder did Matthew do this too? How about you? Have you felt that way before? Have you reacted to those feelings allowing it to cause you to do things you normally wouldn't do?
And if you're honest about if you have felt that way and reacted that way, then what did you feel like after your outbursts or general behavior to avoid those feelings? I can sit here and try to judge Matthew, he was considered lower than low in his time, publicans were worse than almost all sinners, but how can I judge him when I am him? Can you find yourself in Matthew?
Then comes Jesus, walking by this man who is hated by everyone, who probably hates himself to some extent, who probably is in the midst of sin, stealing, blackmail, extortion and the like, and what does Jesus do? Put yourself there for a moment, I will imagine it's a hot day and Matthew is sitting there in the dust and dirt, sweat dripping down his forehead. He is compelling people by threat to comply with the taxation, he is having evil glances sent his way from those passing by, he gets mad at them and threatens them, this awful dynamic being played out over and over. The tension is in the air, the anger, the frustration, the desperation of those who can't afford the tax worrying they are going to be jailed, the atmosphere is intense.
And up walks Jesus right into the midst of this dynamic and looks upon Matthew and while He has every right to do so, instead of Judging and Condemning him, He does the opposite, He calls him to His side. Can you see Matthews' face? It must have been shocked, who me? Me who is the worst of the worst? Me who is hated? Me who is working for the enemy? Me who is hated by the Religious people? You are calling me to you? How can this be?
And what could that feeling have been when Matthew truly realized that it wasn't a mistake, that here was Jesus calling him personally to His side? To walk with Him and live with Him during His ministry? Oh what a feeling that must have been, oh what an amazing glorious feeling Matthew must have felt!!! Matthew must have felt condemned for a moment, having Christ walk up to him in the middle of his work in taxation, he must have felt scared, knowing that he was guilty before Christ and deserving punishment, standing before Him just waiting to be scourged for all he had done, but Christ calls out to him, offered him the complete and total opposite, offered him Grace and Forgiveness. Can you just imagine how Matthew must have felt in that moment?
The weight of the condemnation being removed, to one moment feel as tho you are hated, that you are working for the enemy, to know you deserve punishment and then the next know that you have been set free from all of that, to feel loved, to feel that Grace flood over you?!?! Matthew must have been ecstatic, in fact we know that is exactly how he felt because in another Scripture speaking of the immediate aftermath of Christ calling him to His side it says:
Luke 5:29 And Levi made him a great feast in his own house: and there was a great company of publicans and of others that sat down with them.
Matthew or Levi as he is called in this Scripture made a great feast for Christ, celebrating the fact that Christ had called him from the tax booth into His ministry. The joy, the happiness, the peace, the excitement Matthew you felt when Christ called him from sitting in the dust and dirt of his taxation into a position to walk lock and step with Christ in His ministry!!
So I ask you today, have you ever felt that? Have you ever felt that flood of joy, happiness, peace and excitement when Jesus came to you personally, and while standing before you, you felt the shame, guilt, fear and condemnation because of your Sin, to hear Jesus call you to His side, to remove off of you that Sin and free you from all your shame, guilt, fear and condemnation?
Do you remember that day when you too threw a feast in celebration for Jesus calling you to Himself?
If not then I tell you today can be that day!!!!
See the calling of Matthew is a representation of the Gospel. Matthew is us, each one of us, as we struggle in our lives dealing with the feelings of being hated and rejected by our families, our communities, the World. He represents us making concessions and yoking ourselves to Sin, to working with the enemy. He represents us trying to take from others, whether it be physically such as stealing money or spiritually as we try to steal others joy and happiness as we cast our feelings of abandonment and hurt onto them.
If we are ever to be called by Jesus then we first need to find ourselves in Matthew, to acknowledge who we really are and where we stand before God, which would be just where Jesus found Matthew, in the dirt and dust in the midst of Sin and the resulting tension, fear, anger, resentment and desperation that we find ourselves in due to our Sins. However once we find ourselves there, once we acknowledge our position that is when we will find Jesus walking up to us.
We don't need to change or cleanse ourselves, in fact that's impossible and you can't go and find Jesus, when we come to that state where we recognize our need for Him, that is when He will come to us, and He will call us by our name, to His side, to be forgiven, to be loved, to heap mercy and grace upon us and that is when experience that same joy, peace and excitement that Matthew did!!!
When we get Born Again, we too celebrate that day, we too want to have a feast and we too want to invite everyone else to come and sit down and get to know the man who called us out of our Sins and to His side!!!
I am asking you today if you haven't had that moment in your life, to cry out to Jesus now, to acknowledge where you are before Him and believe that He can and will save you!! I know that if you believe in your heart that Jesus died for you and your sins and confess to Him your belief, that you too will be able to celebrate just as Matthew did!!! I am praying that you come to Him today and that you see the Gospel in Matthew!!!
I love you all, have a great day and blessed day in the Lord!
If you need prayer or anything else please feel free to reach out to me and I will help you the best I can and if I can't help I know one man that can, this man named Jesus!
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Matt 9:13 But go ye and learn what that meaneth, I will have mercy, and not sacrifice: for I am not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.