Acts 11:26 And when he had found him, he brought him unto Antioch. And it came to pass, that a whole year they assembled themselves with the church, and taught much people. And the disciples were called Christians first in Antioch.
The verse quoted is the recording of the first time those who followed Christ were called Christians and the history behind this event is one that many may not know and may surprise you when you come to learn of it. I know when I first found out about it, I was somewhat surprised myself. I say this because the way the text reads, and the context of the event it seems like this is a proud moment, the Disciples were recognized as those who followed Christ and were thus named accordingly. However that isn't the actual History behind the labeling of them as Christians, in fact it was the complete opposite.
Those who were gathered in Antioch who were teaching and preaching about Christ were not called Christians due to a reverence of them or Christ. No, they were labeled Christians in scorn and mocking. In fact the word Christian is only used 3 times in the Bible, once in Acts 11, once in Acts 26 where King Agrippa tells Paul that he was almost persuaded to become one and finally in 1 Peter which I will quote as it provides context to what I am saying:
1 Peter 4:16 Yet if any man suffer as a Christian, let him not be ashamed; but let him glorify God on this behalf.
Here we see that there is a link between the name Christian and suffering, and previously in the Chapter it speaks of being reproached for His name and being evil spoken of. So the label Christian was born out of mocking and derision, just as Christ endured on the Cross. However it is clear regardless of the World mocking those who followed Christ, they noticed something different about them which stood out from everyone else.
As I have had this thought stirring on my heart I have come to realize that there are definitely 2 different ways that one can answer the question, what does a real christian look like. I also find it amazing that as soon as this came on my heart a few weeks ago, my Pastor began to preach a message very similar to what I am asking now, however his message was from one side, and mine is from the other.
His message revolved around the traits of those who were labeled Christians in Antioch, as in what did they possess that caused others around them to take notice and then apply that label to them. What are the qualities those called Christians ought to possess and be made manifest to others, and while one could preach ages on that, it is not the focus that I have on my heart.
What has been on my heart has been what is the image that either the Church imprinted or the World imprinted as to what a Real Christian should look like, what is the expectation of what Real Christians look like and does that actually line up to what Scripture says about those who have followed God, that are recorded in the Word of God.
To expound further on this thought and the place from which I am speaking, it seems to me and I do not believe I am alone, that there is this stereotype of what a Real Christian not only should but does look like and act. Moreover this stereotype isn't just held by the World in derision, but it has also been propped up within the Church to the detriment of God's people. When I was a Non Believer, I had a stereotype of what a Real Christian was, they were these Judgemental Do Gooders who thought they were better than everyone else. Who always want to tell everyone how awful they were and wanted to compare themselves in a hey look at me I am perfect kind of way.
Once I got saved, and started to enter into the Church I found something that seems very strange indeed, which is that many of those who are Saved and part of the Church, they almost seem to feel that they need to actually uphold that type of stereotype themselves. Now I do not believe that most Christians have a Judgemental I am better than you feeling or attitude such as is thrust upon them from the World. However what I do notice is that it seems that within the Church there is this spoken or non spoken expectation that if you are a Christian then you should be presenting yourself as Perfect.
You are a Christian, then you need to be happy. You are a Christian, then you need to never Sin. You are a Christian, then you need to be super strong. You are a Christian, then you need to never reveal your weakness to anyone. You are a Christian, then you need to be excited all the time. On and on I can go about the expectations that the Church has placed upon the believers of Christ.
I would sit in Church and hear the preacher preach that since I am a Christian I need to be happy, if I am not happy then why on Earth would a Lost person want to become a Christian. Man that tore me up, why? Because many many times I am not happy, many many times I actually was broken, sad, depressed, but here I am sitting under preaching telling me that because of how I was feeling emotionally, since I wasn't happy, then I am a Bad Christian because what Lost person wants to be a Christian if they are sad, broken and depressed.
The effect of that type of preaching didn't cause me to want to be happy, no in fact it only drove me further into unhappiness. It caused me to be even more sad, it caused me to actually start doubting my Salvation. It literally gave place to the Devil to just lambast me on an almost daily basis concerning every aspect of my Faith and relationship with God. I mean do I understand the point these preachers were trying to make? Sure I get it, Christ died for me, I am never going to Hell and I have been redeemed, that should and it does cause me to be happy, but am I always happy?
And this I think is where a huge disconnect has happened between the Church and its ability to minister to the Lost and dying World. While we as Christians can say the reason why the Lost see us as these Hypocrite, Judgemental, Holier than thou group of people is because they hate having the conviction of their Sins come upon them, and I am sure this is in part true, I also believe they feel that way because we as Christians have chosen to present to them a False Facade as to what a Real Christian looks like. For years I have tried so hard to live up to and maintain this False Facade of what I was being told a Real Christian should look like, how they should act, what they should say and do in Church and it has been crushing.
Why? Because no matter how much I was reading, praying, trying, whatever it was, I could never live up to this False Ideal that was being presented to me because in reality it was unattainable to begin with. And I am sure the Devil loved every single second of it. On top of that not only was it destroying my Personal Relationship with Christ and my Spiritual Life and Emotional well being, it was also making my ministry to the Lost impossible as well.
How could I witness to a Lost person when I was in such a crushed state? How could I witness to a Lost person when I was depressed, anxious, scared, weak, and all these other emotional states that I was told a Real Christian can not be, as it was preached why would a Lost person want what I got?
As I have laid out in much of my other Post, I have come into a massive trial and it has affected every aspect of my life, including how I view myself and my understanding of what a Real Christian looks like and I would like to share what I have come to understand and accept fully as the Truth of what a Real Christian looks like as revealed to me by the Lord thru His Word. What I have come to see is that I absolutely in no way and never ever again want to ever come close to trying to live up to that False expectation of what I was being told a Real Christian looks like, why? Because that is NOT what a Real Christian looks like in the least.
So you may be asking me, what does a Real Christian look like? And for my response I want to bring to light through Scripture how the greatest men of God in the Bible acted, what did these men often look like and how does that compare to the ideal that is usually applied to us within and without the Church. The first person I would like to show is a man that was called the Apple of God's Eye and a man after God's own heart. He wrote many many verses describing how he felt and what he was going thru and I want to highlight just a few:
Psalm 6;6 O Lord, rebuke me not in thine anger, neither chasten me in thy hot displeasure.
2 Have mercy upon me, O Lord; for I am weak: O Lord, heal me; for my bones are vexed.
3 My soul is also sore vexed: but thou, O Lord, how long?
4 Return, O Lord, deliver my soul: oh save me for thy mercies' sake.
5 For in death there is no remembrance of thee: in the grave who shall give thee thanks?
6 I am weary with my groaning; all the night make I my bed to swim; I water my couch with my tears.
7 Mine eye is consumed because of grief; it waxeth old because of all mine enemies.
Here we see a very different image of who David was from the one that is usually brought up. David the mighty warrior, who was great in the Lord and he was, but he was also a man that was consumed with grief, fear and sadness.
Psalm 42:5 Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted in me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him for the help of his countenance.
6 O my God, my soul is cast down within me: therefore will I remember thee from the land of Jordan, and of the Hermonites, from the hill Mizar.
7 Deep calleth unto deep at the noise of thy waterspouts: all thy waves and thy billows are gone over me.
8 Yet the Lord will command his lovingkindness in the day time, and in the night his song shall be with me, and my prayer unto the God of my life.
9 I will say unto God my rock, Why hast thou forgotten me? why go I mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?
David expresses doubt wondering where God is, his soul is cast down and disquieted in him. I can literally fill pages of David's writings as he pours out his soul crying out to God in fear, depression, anxiety, anger and all the other emotions that the Church has seemingly made it a crime to feel or express and that which the Lost think we are just better than and above.
Let us turn to Jeremiah, a man who preached the Word of God for dozens of years steadfastly and in the midst of much adversity, yet what did he feel at times, what did he express even as a direct Prophet of God?
Jer 20:7 O Lord, thou hast deceived me, and I was deceived; thou art stronger than I, and hast prevailed: I am in derision daily, every one mocketh me.
8 For since I spake, I cried out, I cried violence and spoil; because the word of the Lord was made a reproach unto me, and a derision, daily.
9 Then I said, I will not make mention of him, nor speak any more in his name.
14 Cursed be the day wherein I was born: let not the day wherein my mother bare me be blessed.
15 Cursed be the man who brought tidings to my father, saying, A man child is born unto thee; making him very glad.
16 And let that man be as the cities which the Lord overthrew, and repented not: and let him hear the cry in the morning, and the shouting at noontide;
17 Because he slew me not from the womb; or that my mother might have been my grave, and her womb to be always great with me.
18 Wherefore came I forth out of the womb to see labour and sorrow, that my days should be consumed with shame?
In this chapter we see a picture of Jeremiah that many either don't know or speak about. Here is a man that feels betrayed by God, who preached his whole life and at one point felt that God left him to be mocked and reached a point where he wanted to quit preaching all together. Shortly after that he goes from just wanting to quit to literally feeling that he would be better off if he never was born. A great and mighty man gives a window into what he really was feeling, depressed, scared, worried and a host of other emotions we are told that we as Christians should feel or express openly.
Next let us look at Elijah, my favorite prophet of the Old Testament. A man who literally saw fire reign down from heaven at his prayer to God, who slew thousands of false prophets, that had this amazing miracle happen and where does he find himself almost immediately after that event?
1 King 19:4 But he himself went a day's journey into the wilderness, and came and sat down under a juniper tree: and he requested for himself that he might die; and said, It is enough; now, O Lord, take away my life; for I am not better than my fathers.
Here we see Elijah alone, depressed and asking God to take his life, I believe Elijah was having feelings of Suicide or at least emotions that border that feeling. Another great man of God who just a day or so ago watched God perform a miracle that more than likely none of us in our lives will witness literally, and then immediately finds himself in a place where he is scared, alone, depressed, and asking to die.
Luke 22:59 And about the space of one hour after another confidently affirmed, saying, Of a truth this fellow also was with him: for he is a Galilaean.
60 And Peter said, Man, I know not what thou sayest. And immediately, while he yet spake, the cock crew.
61 And the Lord turned, and looked upon Peter. And Peter remembered the word of the Lord, how he had said unto him, Before the cock crow, thou shalt deny me thrice.
62 And Peter went out, and wept bitterly.
Here we see Peter a man who literally walked with Jesus, watched him heal his sick mother in law, heal thousands of people, walk on water, raise the dead and countless other miracles who just a few hours before this event said I will die for you Jesus and cut a man's ear off in defense of Him. Yet now we see Peter scared so much that he went on to deny he even knew Jesus, not once, not twice but three times.
On and on I can go showing just about every single great person in the Bible and then showing who they really were, and what they really were and what is that? They were all Human!!!
Yet in today's Society within the Church this aspect of what makes a Real Christian is completely downplayed, it is almost scorned, how dare we as believers be scared, depressed, anxious, angry, doubtful, denying, suicidal!!! How dare we show Lost people these aspects of ourselves, it is the Lost who feel this way, we can't feel that way we are Saved!!!
But I no longer am willing to be fake, I am here to tell you exactly what a Real Christian looks like, and they are scared, they are depressed, they are anxiety bound, they are angry, they are doubtful, they are even suicidal!!! Real Christians are completely and totally broken and if they tell you otherwise they are lying, they are covering up these things and trying to put on the face of what we “should” look like, but it is my desire to remove this false pretense first from myself and second from my friends and family and lastly from the Church and World.
I am me, I am at times absolutely broken and a mess, I am at times completely scared and afraid overtaken with anxiety, I am at times utterly depressed and sad, I am at times full of doubt wondering where God even is or if He cares, I am at times engulfed in anger so much so I can't see straight, and I am a Real True Christian.
It is my belief that Satan is the one who has created and pushed upon the Church these false ideals and standards. These false ideals and standards do so much damage to us within the Church, it causes us to be scared to admit any of this to the people we are, according to the Word of God, supposed to tell so that we can be ministered to by them. We judge one another according to these false ideals and standards, oh that guy is sad all the time he can't be a Real Christian, lets separate ourselves from him. The Devil loves to see us scared to be honest to one another because it keeps us in those states, he loves the judgement we heap upon each other when we don't live up to these ideals, it brings division.
I also believe that the Devil loves that we try and present ourselves in this fashion because it makes us so incredibly unrelatable to the Lost. How can a Perfect Christian who can't be shown to have these problems relate to a Lost man that is completely in ruins outwardly from these exact problems? Then we lie to them, come to Jesus and you won't have these problems anymore, and what happens when they do have those same problems after coming to Jesus?
I no longer have any interest in trying to relate to people in fake and false ways, I want to be radical when it comes to being open and honest and I truly believe that is exactly what Christ has called us to do. While I know and believe that Jesus transforms us, He doesn't make us immune to all of these emotions, however what He does offer is someone to be there with you in the middle of them and I am exceedingly thankful to have the God who created all things standing with me in the middle of the storms.
I want to witness to the Lost in their brokenness, I want to let them know and understand, yes I get it, I am just as screwed up as you but there is this man named Jesus who comforts you in the midst of your trials in ways that bring you peace that you never knew before. I want to be open and honest to the Church because I know so many Real Christians are struggling in ways the Church has never experienced and I want them to know that I am here in the mess with them and so is Jesus. You don't have to pretend to have it all together because I don't and I will stand with you in that ugliness because I love you.
I want to change the image of a Real Christian from the Holier than thou, happy all the time, everything is always great, unrelatable facade that I see in Churches and the World to we are all broken and going thru things, we are depressed too, scared, worried, anxious, angry and even suicidal but we know a Savior who understands everything we are going thru and will stand beside us, guiding and loving us in the middle of the ugliest, nastiest, storms of our lives and He will pull us thru into Heaven where we will actually be able to reflect that unattainable “Real” Christian facade down here!!!
I love you all, have a great day and blessed day in the Lord!
If you need prayer or anything else please feel free to reach out to me and I will help you the best I can and if I can't help I know one man that can, this man named Jesus!
Disciples
Are
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Everyday
Hebrews 4:15 For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin.