So if you read the intro to this Blog then you know what it is all about, if you haven't yet I highly encourage you to read the intro and the first Blog about Shame, here and here. To give a very brief overview of what this Blog is about for those who haven't been able to read the other entries, this Blog is my Personal Blog. The other writings on here are mainly about Spiritual Lessons, Music or Politics. They do include some personal details but this Blog is focused around the intimate details of my life, it is what sets it apart from the other Blogs I have on this site.
With that said the idea of the Blog is that I am on the Potter's Wheel which is drawn from Jeremiah 18:3-4. God who is the Potter has me on the Wheel and He is reshaping me into what He would have me to be as I have been going through the hardest time in my life. Over this past year or so I have faced the loss of my job, my father facing Cancer and Amputation of his feet, and the most impactful so far, a Divorce. The Divorce which continues to be a thorn in my side as I have not only been subjected to months of not knowing if my wife would be willing to work anything out, but had come to find out she was having affairs and of course lying about them.
Then to top it all off due to our circumstances I have been living next door and she has chosen instead of having affairs in secret to blatantly move and have that man spend the night in my home forcing me to watch her have this affair all in my face. If you read the first entry on this Blog you know that a major aspect of it is to address Shame, and I can tell you being forced to watch your wife have an affair with a man in your home brings tons of Shame into your mind and soul. I have been struggling to deal with this issue and on top of this, my wife is making the Divorce almost as difficult as possible. She has stated she wants a Divorce yet is refusing to do the things needed so that we don't have to have a full on drag out fight in Court.
The entire situation is beyond infuriating, but that is where this Blog comes into play. In the post about Shame I detailed what caused Shame and the methods to overcome Shame. In short Shame isn't just a feeling or emotion, it is an active force that takes a feeling and emotion and binds it to a physiological response. In order to overcome the Shame that is active in our lives and souls we need to do two things. First is that we must learn to be Vulnerable, and the second is we need to begin to have different experiences that cause us to rewire our brains and how we deal with emotions so that we rework our neural networks. These new experiences help to change and overwrite the Shame we have been programmed to feel and causes us to be better equipped to combat Shame if it does arise. Please read the other Blog for a much more detailed explanation of Shame and how to overcome it.
Now in that Post I spoke more of being Vulnerable because due to the insanity that has been my life lately I had no ability to do much in the way of seeking out new experiences to rewire my thoughts and feelings. However due to the Grace of God and His Blessings, I was afforded the opportunity to go and have multiple amazing experiences and it is my desire to walk you through these experiences as well as to write about not only what I did but how it affected me.
I want to write in detail about how God used that week to transform me, to change my ideas and the effects it has had on my Shame and my view of how I will be moving forward as He shapes me into who He wants me to be. It was an amazing week and I was able to document almost every moment of it. What is to follow are videos of the things I experienced and then I will also be writing about how those things affected me in the moment and afterwards up until now and the impact it will have in me going forward into the future. I hope you continue to follow along as I unravel the beginning of this Journey God has placed me on as He molds me On The Potter's Wheel!!!